Misconceptions
The Neurodiverse Women
"This got kind of long toward the end for my ADHD brain but it's SUPER good. I highly recommend. Positive + real + truthful ND information."Nonautistic People don't have a great track-record of guessing, about autism. https://www.facebook.com/108360613173814/posts/741027479907121/?d=n
AUsome Training:
Wow! What an amazing thread from Ann Memmott on twitter today. Just wow!
Ann Memmott PGC:
'Their social skills are broken' (Ooops, new research sows ours are generally simply different, and as effective).
'They move in pointless repetitive ways' (Ooops, hundreds of thousands of autistic people explain that stimming e.g. hand flapping, rocking is a vital way for us to self-regulate, usually a joy, a relaxation).
'Their repetitive movements get in the way of learning - must be stopped!' (Ooops, research shows that autistic people learn just fine whilst rocking/hand-flapping, etc etc).
'Their refusal to make eye contact just shows how broken they are/how rude they are/how they're not listening!' (Oops, hundreds of thousands of autistic people explain that eye contact is overwhelming and stops us concentrating, listening, etc).
'They are just making a fuss over nothing!' (Ooops, research showing that autistic lives are made so appaling, and our rights so routinely ignored, that many die very early after truly dreadful experiences. Bullying, assault, defrauding, poverty, loneliness, etc etc).
'They have no insight into themselves, and no idea that other people are people' (Ooops, so much good research, so many hundreds of thousands of autistic accounts showing the opposite of this).
'They lack empathy. They don't care what happens to others' (Ooops, so many hundreds of thousands of autistic accounts saying that we feel overwhelming empathy for others, so many saying how much we care about others).
'There are two sorts of autistic people 'Low Functioning' and 'High Functioning'' (Ooops, endless research and autistic accounts showing what utter nonsense this is. Every autistic people is in individual with their own strengths and areas needing support, same as others).
'Only 16% of them have proper jobs' (Ooops, they hadn't even found most autistic adults (Royal College of Psychiatrists report, 2020). We've no idea how many autistic people are employed. But newer research suggests about half. Others retired, carers, parents, volunteers..).
'Autism is mostly white boys' (Ooops, we're finding so many millions of autistic people who were missed from diagnosis/chances to self-identify, because of the myths. Females, older people, ethnic minorities, etc).
'It's important to use medical deficit language to correctly describe this disorder. Thus I will continue to use words like Deficient & Disordered' (Ooops, so many researchers, Medics, etc now realising how many of their best colleagues are autistic, & having to hide as a result).
'Those poor autistic people are suffering so much. I will give money to this charity that want to Find A Cure. Aren't I fabulous for doing this!' (Ooops, No, turns out almost no autistic people want the 'cure', thanks. See above for why).
Caption: Bar graph: Question: If there were a cure for autism, I would take it [Autistic people with learning difficulties] Strongly Agree: 5.22% (37). Agree: 6.21% (44). Neither/not applicable: 12.99% (92). Disagree: 15.96% (113). Strongly Disagree: 54.32% (420). No answer: 0.28% (2)
'Us nonautistic people know how to design the best possible buildings, without asking autistic people for their views. We can just by looking at you.' (Ooops. See recent threads on this page). Being Clear that some nonautistic people are great allies. But...gee whizz... Until we learn to actually ask, and listen, we're not going to get anywhere. This is excellent research in the blog on my profile. Research from top teams, top specialists. Read the research. And ask autistic people. Don't make silly guesses. Thank you.
PS 'asking' does not mean, 'I invite autistic people to a 'consultation. They write their views on sticky notes. I put them on a wall. Then, when they go home, I put the notes in the bin and do as I like, claiming that's what they said.' Seen this done for decades. No really....
....including by one or two big-name charities. How do I know this? Because I was also in the follow-up meeting with the funders. In which the charity would then claim that the autistic people wanted X, Y, Z. We'd said no such thing.
Example: Big consultation asking autistic people for top ten priorities. Almost no-one asked for situation A to be in the top ten. In the funding meeting, situation A was declared to be thing we'd mostly picked. Situation A was the charity leader's own project. Mmm.
I have never been in any serious meeting where people's views are scribbled in a disposable note. If you are asked to scribble on a disposable note, I recommend you refuse and ask how you can contribute formally instead. How powerful were you, in their project? This is a clue.
Caption:
Ladder on the side with the words: Delegated power, Partnership, Placation, Consulation
With delegated power and partnership grouped together into degrees of citizen power
with placation and consulation grouped together into degrees of tokenism
Worse still, even if you do manage to get in the acoustic-nightmare 'consultation building' and sit in the blinding fluorescent-lit room, your views will promptly be discounted by any nonautistic person playing the, 'You're not low-functioning so we don't have to listen' card.
I wonder how many other marginalized communities are routinely told that only 2% of them count, and the rest are irrelevant?
I didn't make up that number, by the way. The no. of autistic people who also have e.g. a severe or profound learning disability is about 2%. Yes, people are routinely told it's nearer 30-50%. Sigh"
From Facebook, The Neurodiverse Women, AUsome Training, Ann Memmott PGC
Ann Memmott PGC. "Log in or Sign up to View." Edited by The Neurodiverse Women and AUsome Training, Facebook, 24 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/theneurodiversewoman/posts/306913327465846.
Photo Explanations
Caption: I don't mean to be rude when I...
- act distant
- don't respond to your calls
- postpone things
- flake out at the last minute
- don't seem excited to meet your new friends
- set rigid boundaries
- leave early
- say no to things
Spectrumy. "Log in or Sign up to View." Facebook, 24 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1405676536451731&id=391000254586036.
Autism in Girls
Caption: Autism in Girls?
Behavior:
- Special Interests: more than a hobby, become ritualistic and obsessive. Often can involve animals and/or literature
- Masking: Learns to watch human behaviors and masks their own difficulties by imitating what has been learned
- Sorry: May apologize & try to appease in social situations
- Anxiety: Prone to anxiety when changes occur unexpectedly
- Stimming: May be milder externally but may be internalized together with intense thoughts
- Perfectionism: In certain aspects of life, as a means of control
- Sensory: May have aversions or attractions to certain stimuli ex. foods, textures, sounds etc.
- Vocab: May have an exceptional vocabulary.
- Mimic: Will mimic rather than exhibit an appropriate natural response in conversation
- Non-Verbal: Struggle with non-verbal communication, such as body language, gesturing, facial expression, tone of voice.
- Unexpected: Has difficulty dealing with unexpected verbal responses
Social:
- Shy: Appears excessively shy, avoids interactions where possible and usually won't make a first move
- Conversations: May make them feel uncomfortable & eye contact may be difficult for them
- Fitting In: May want to have friends but finds it difficult to fit in and find friends of their own
- Mothered: May be mothered by others in primary school but may be bullied in Secondary School
- Explodes: At home they may explode into meltdown but can somehow hold it together in public
- Friends: May have only 1 or 2 close friends if any
www.littlepuddins.ie. "Facebook Groups." Edited by Stephen Modica, Facebook, Facebook Groups, 25 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/groups/1516520561973249/permalink/2765493153742644/.
Quotes
The Neurodiverse Woman:
"Yes. Seen at Neurodivergent Rebel.
buttonslives @buttonslives:
'Normalize saying, "I'm not informed enough about both sides of this argument to have an opinion right now.'"
buttonslives. "Log in or Sign up to View." Edited by The Neurodiverse Woman, Facebook, 20 Apr. 2021, 9:05am, www.facebook.com/theneurodiversewoman/posts/306932914130554.
"Can you imagine someone saying to you: 'Why did you get a diagnosis for diabetes?'
Or even: 'Why did you get a diagnosis for schizophrenia?'
'Why put a label on it?'
But that's the reaction we risk every time we share that we, or our child/ren, have an autism dignosis"
#actually autistic
Spectrumy. "Log in or Sign up to View." Facebook, 24 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1405728809779837&id=391000254586036.
Social Behavior
The Neurodiverse Women:
"🙌🙌🙌
Dr. Catherine Crompton:
In summary, we found autistic people's social behavior includes effective communication & effective social interaction. We have, for the first time, uncovered empirical evidence that there is a form of social intelligence specific to autistic people."
Crompton, Catherine. "Log in or Sign up to View." Edited by The Neurodiverse Women, Facebook, 24 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/theneurodiversewoman/posts/307028060787706.
Developmental/Emotional/Social Age
"Hello Everyone, my name is Carter, I am 22 and I have Aspergers and have been diagnosed since I was 5. I have several questions about my condition that I need more information on from other people who have it, but one pressing question has been bothering me for the past few months.
You know how people with our condition are developmentally delayed emotionally and socially? Well I am more on the level of a 16/17 year old.
Moreover, throughout my life since I was a teenager I have sought friendships and relationships with people who are closer to my social/emotional age...
I first started noticing this when I was 13 and my idol was MattyB (cringe if you want) who was 9 at the time. I imagined him as a best friend and I remember dreaming about playing tag with him.
When I got older and got into High School, I had a fanpage for him, and all my internet friends were Middle Schoolers and I dated some of them. I was 14 and 15 and dating people like a year, two and at 15 three years younger than me.
My relationships with them were romantic but not sexual, and I can recall my obsession with MattyB turning into a non-sexual crush when I was 15 and he was 11.
Well, when I started Uni I was more on the level of someone who was 14, and I maintained my crush on MattyB, but also Jacob Sartorius, Johnny Orlando, and people made fun of me for it.
That was all fine and good until I started dating someone this year who was closer to me mentally and the age I feel inside. It's legal in my state, and we relate so perfectly, and in most ways I feel he's more mature than me...."
Caption:
Asperger Profiles: Developmental Delays
Article
Every person with Asperger Syndrome is developmentally delayed, not intellectually, but at the social-emotional level. This delay can be significant; for example, a 21-year-old may seem socially and emotionally more like a 14-year-old. The social consequences of being developmentally delayed often become particularly conspicuous during the middle and high school years, a time when clear social expectations and friendship groups arise and date becomes more common; children with Asperger profiles seem to fall further and further behind. It can be helpful, or even liberating, to learn that children and/or adults with Asperger profiles are functioning at about two-thirds of their chronological ages. Parents and teachers need not expect a child with an Asperger profile to "act his or her age" and can rest assured that development will continue, just at a slower pace. Individuals with Asperger profiles, too, can take comfort in the knowledge that they are behind but still continuing to grow. As children with Asperger profiles reach adulthood, they gain greater freedom to choose social environments that match their interests and developmental levels. In fact, some adults with Asperger profiles continue to grow and develop socially and emotionally throughout their entire lives
Winslow, Carter. "Log in or Sign up to View." Facebook, 25 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/saved/?list_id=171110024248112&referrer=SAVE_DASHBOARD_NAVIGATION_PANEL.
Boundary Setting
Spectrum Women:
"This is why boundary setting is so important. We can't change others, but we can change how we respond.
Lorig Basmajian:
Much truth to this.
Daniell Koepke:
You can't change people. You can change your expectations. You can set Boundaries. You can make new decisions about how much time and energy you give and how much of your heart you share. You can practice acceptance and letting go. But you can't mold someone into who you want or need them to be. You can't force them to shift before they're ready. You can't love a person into being something different than who they are."
Koepke, Daniell. "Log in or Sign up to View." Edited by Spectrum Women and Lorig Basmajian, Facebook, 25 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/spectrumwomen/posts/2984184448571432.
Autism Awareness Month
Spectrum Women:
"True dat!
Judy Endow:
Autism Awareness Month Newsflash:
Autistic pride is not because we need to celebrate being autistic.
Instead, autistic pride is because we need to celebrate our right to exist as full-fledged human beings.
There is not such a thing as neuro majority pride because neuro majority people are already assumed to be human beings."
Endow, Judy. "Log in or Sign up to View." Edited by Spectrum Women, Facebook, 25 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/spectrumwomen/posts/2984207325235811.
Unashamed Voices of Autism:
"Personally attacked
Fayrun:
Me, an Autismâ„¢, trying to explain anything: okay so. Okay so you know ho som...sometimes... Wait hang on. Okay so basically what's uhhh what's going on is..... Wait how do I phrase this? I mean what's gonna happen is that the thing. You kn...know what the thing is, anyw---- nevermind. The uhh, th... Wait hang on."
Fayrun. "Log in or Sign up to View." Edited by Unashamed Voices of Autism, Facebook, 25 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/unashamedvoices/posts/957762674764455.
School
Aspergers Victoria:
"Better understanding and support can help build supports and psychological safety for those masking and prevent trauma - boys as well as girls mask their struggles. We all need to build this capability for our community!
#takeoffthemask #appreciation #earliersupports #psychologicalsafety
Autistic Girls Network:
Difference. Not deficit.
72% of autistic children & young people are in mainstream school - those are only the diagnosed ones. Many more remain undiagnosed as schools don't recognise autistic masking - they haven't had the training to do so.
ALL teachers teach pupils with SEND. Even if they don't realise.
Often, being unsupported and unrecognised as autistic in school brings trauma. Young people who are not diagnosed until their teens have endured years of trauma and are only recognised at the point they break down. Sometimes even then girls particularly are misdiagnosed.
This is why it's so important that ALL education professionals, not only SENDCOs, understand how to recognise autistic masking.
If these children can be recognised and diagnosed in primary school, then supported through transition and during secondary school with understanding and acceptance it will make a huge difference.
But only a whole school approach will work, teachers (all of them) and pupils. Diversity includes neurodiversity. #DifferenceNotDeficit
Autistic Girls Network. "Log in or Sign up to View." Edited by Aspergers Victoria, Facebook, 25 Apr. 2021, www.facebook.com/www.aspergersvic.org/posts/1882631218579064.